Today was yet another very hard day without Ed, I was notified by the Funeral home that his remains were ready to be picked up. When I arrived at the Funeral home a funeral director, I believe Mark was his name brought me out the Plastic-box like Urns, he explained to me that my husband was too big to fit into a single urn, so he was put into 2. I cannot explain the depth of my heart-break upon holding his remains. They are in a beautiful Burgundy velvet like bag with a drawstring. Earlier in the week I had asked Vanessa the woman I made the arraignments with if it were possible to get a lock of Ed's hair, I was so grateful to see that yes she was able to do so. I was also given his keys, cell phone, his leatherman knife he carried every where. With 2 pens, and a $1.36 in change that he had in his pockets. Seeing his keys & cell phone made me feel even more his loss the realization that all the dreams & goals we had will never be filled. It was his greatest wish/want to write a book about our lives together and all the struggles we've been through. I plan on keeping this goal for him, plus other goals & dreams we spoke about. Thing will never be the same- but as long as I live I will never forget him, or stop loving him, he will always be my husband, death cannot change that.